Want to Live a Good Life? Here are 5 Principles To Follow:
“The days are long, but the years are short.”
Life goes by fast and, sometimes, it is easy to lose track of what matters.
When I find myself lost or down, I revisit principles that broaden my perspective to see the big picture.
A palliative nurse recorded the wishes of individuals about to die and found 5 common “regrets”:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I don’t believe in regrets, personally — I think regrets are opportunities not yet realized. But this list inspired me.
If these are the 5 most common regrets of the dying, how can we incorporate their wishes into each of our lives to give ourselves the best chance to live a good life.
So without further ado, and in accordance with the list above, I present 5 principles to follow to live a good life:
1 ) Be authentic to your true self and dreams
When lost, it is natural to turn to others for advice. While others can offer a different perspective or provide key information to help make decisions, it is ultimately up to you to decide and follow-through.
You already have the answer to life’s most important questions inside you. What do you wanna do. Who do you wanna be. If you are listening to yourself, you already know what you value. Sometimes you just have to find the answers, even if that means letting explorational action inspire self-awareness rather than vice versa.
Some decisions are easy —they come naturally and feel right.
Other times, decisions are harder. Maybe you have drifted down one road for a long-time in order to appease someone you love or to “fit-in” with society, only to realize something about yourself, and now you would like to go a different direction. Maybe you came to an irreversible decision-fork and knew that you would have to sacrifice something no matter the decision.
In life, you are defined by your actions and the pain you are willing to endure to perform those actions. Some actions are regular ones, aka your habits, while others are dependent on situational choices. Your actions depend on your decisions. And your decisions drive your authenticity.
The good news is you can pick your decisions and actions every day. Even if you have drifted from your authentic self and made mistakes, you have the opportunity to become authentic again, at any moment. So make sure to pause every so often to reflect that your decisions and actions are, well, actually yours and reflective of your true self.
2) Work passionately but not at the expense of other important life goals, events, and relationships
You spend a lot of time at work. Ideally, pick a career that makes you happy and one that makes you want to go above and beyond the bare minimum.
Your work is an opportunity to give back to society in a meaningful capacity and add value, but at the end of the day, work is only one branch of life. There is more to you than just your career.
Your personal life goals, aka your bucket list, and meaningful relationships require work too. Don’t neglect them just because there isn’t an associated dollar amount involved. Prioritize your bucket list goals now, not later, and show up for key relationships when it matters.
Life is about balance. Even for heavily career-oriented individuals.
3) Express your true feelings
This one is really a variation on be your authentic self.
Express your true feelings, even if you are shaking with fear while you say them. Particularly for the things that matter.
Not everyone will agree with you, and that’s okay. As long as you are being peaceful with your delivery, and not invoking malice or violence, you have the right to express your feelings.
There will always be haters in life. You can’t let them stop you from saying how you feel. Even if it’s someone who you otherwise respect and care about. Don’t be afraid to disappoint others, if it means staying true to yourself.
4) Build meaningful relationships and stay in contact
Your work will not love you back. Your experiences will be memorable and brief. But your relationships will provide you with a foundation for continual happiness.
Loving others will give you courage, and receiving love will give you strength.
Put the work in to stay in contact with friends and family. There is no formal review session to access your performance. You do not get paid to do this.
Life gets busier as you age but don’t neglect friends or family. Figure out which relationships actually matter and make an effort to stay in touch with those people.
On a related note, don’t let loyalty to past friends stop you from making new ones as you progress through the different stages of life.
5) Stay in the moment and be grateful
Don’t focus too much on the past (regret) or the future (worry).
The past provides lessons and good memories. But it is unchangeable.
The future can be planned for. But spending too much mental energy on the future can be unproductive if it consistently comes at the expense of enjoying the present. Even with future-oriented actions, like planning a vacation or cleaning, learn to find pleasure in the process as much as the outcome.
Life is a moment to be experienced. Not a problem to be solved.
Do yourself a favor, and let yourself be happy.
Oh, and don’t forget to appreciate the small things!
Thanks for reading! :P
